The Many Things that are Wrong with Ike
by a ZeLdA sKaTeR
Summary: There are lots of things that are wrong with Ike, according to Link. Now he is going to point out all of the things that are "wrong" with him. Will it be legit? How many will he point out? We'll just have to find out by reading it here!


I do not own Super Smash bothers in any way. I made this for fun.

Sup guys? I got a new story for you. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, for the record, this story was made to be funny, so the many things that are wrong with Ike were made to not make much sense. I personally don't like Ike but most of the reasons for this story are not valid. xD Do you accept this quest to read this chapter? If so, you win cookies. ZS out! *disappears*

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"Hello," Link said to the entire audience. He is sitting in a royal blue chair with the triforce symbol on it. It seemed to be that link was wearing a little bit of make-up to attract all his fan girls. Next to him is a glass table with modern television with a wii console on top of it. There is a wine glass with a green drink next to the console which helps with Link's energy.

"Now, you all are wondering why I can now speak..." He paused as he grabs his glass and takes a sip of his energy drink. "That is because well...I was hired to talk on here...for nine-nine-nine rupees. Just so that I am not alone, I have my buddy here, Marth, to help me out, since what I am about to talk about contains a certain character from his universe."

Marth walks onto the stage, waves to everyone, and sits next to Link with another Royal chair. "Uwa, kono isu ha kaiteki desu."

"Can you please speak English?" The tone of Link's voice was not very nice and it seemed to be that Link sounded a little angry for that cause.

"Fine." Marth said. He kept his mouth shut for a moment, looked around at the audience, then looked at Link's face. "So, what's the topic going to be about?"

"We are going to talk about...the many things that are wrong with Ike!" Link shouted to the audience. There were varied feelings for the audience, some cheered with excitement, some boo'd with anger, some clapped with no emotion.

"You chose that as your topic...why?"

"Because uh...I'll tell you later." The audience laughed for a moment as the TV turns on and a Picture of Ike can be seen by the audience.

"So...what is wrong with him?"

"There are so many things that are wrong with him I barely know where to start..." Link paused for a moment and took another sip of his energy drink. "I will say that one of the things that is wrong with him is that he has blue hair."

Several people from the audience laughed as Marth glared at Link "What's wrong with the blue hair?"

"Oh no, it's not you," Link said to Marth with panic, "It's just...blue is such a bad color for him and it looks unnatural."

"Whatever."

Several girls from the audience threw tomatoes at Link, "Don't trash my boyfriend!"

Marth's eyes went wide by a lot. "Ladies! I can't date any of you! I have a wife."

The girls looked disappointed, "Aww."

"Since we're talking about Ike's hair," Link said to the audience as he takes another sip of his energy drink, "he's got those spikes in his hair...but yet...it's all harmless. Why does Ike even consider himself a real "man" for Din's sake?"

"LAME!" An angry man thows a tomato at Link's face. "Now your face looks better!"

The Hylian pushes the smashed tomato off of his face "... Okay! Here's some stuff that are wrong with Ike. He's quite a tall guy, you know?"

Everyone was silent.

"Yet...he's a slow runner when he's battling against me or some other guy...I mean...a turtle on caffieine can run faster then him."

Most of the audience chuckled at the comment.

Marth had an impressed expression to Link, "That was actually legit. Continue doing that, and you might actually succeed."

"Okay! But before I say the next one..."Link turns on the Wii console and goes onto Super Smash Brothers Brawl. He goes into the videos and plays a video of Ike chasing Falco and Lucas around. "Okay...now Pedo would not approve this!"

Most of the audience laughed as Marth nearly falls off of the chair, laughing his ass off.

"Okay, now that was pretty good. Keep it up."

"Woohoo!" Link takes another sip of his drink, which is now empty. "Wow, I'm out of that already. Well, until my throat feels dry, I shall continue pointing things out at Ike...like that thing on his chest. Is it supposed to be a bra? and if so, where's the other...patch?"

"Those would be a half bra...he thinks those are attractive to women...though he only attracted that...Soren guy or whatever what that emo's name it is." He starts to crack up along with the audience laughing a lot as well. "Nice job Link. You are now successful...for today anyways.

"That is great!"

"Now...you should also point something out about Ike which I don't think you didn't catch yet...you slow blonde."

Several "Ohhhh!" came out as if Link got owned by Marth.

"...Well Ike carries a huge two-handed sword with one hand."

"And?"

"That just breaks the fourth wall! That makes him a mary sue."

Marth face palms at Links comment as the audience has that what the hell look on Link.

A young girl speaks up from the audience. "What is a mary sue?"

"Yeah, Link. What is that anyways?" Marth asks the Hylian suspiciously.

"Uh...I have no idea whatsoever...I must go now," Link said nervously, "So I will say goodbye for now...and have fun with these upcoming commercials.

The entire stage went completely pitch black. Marth rolled his eyes and carefully found his way to get off the stage without falling or tripping over anything since it was pitch black.


End file.
